Restructuring

Contributed by Doron P. Kenter.
On Wednesday, Congress announced the passage of the Bankruptcy Sale Incentive and Senior Support Act (“BSISSA”), which will make effective for those over age 65 a 15% discount on all 363 sales consummated on Tuesdays before 4:00 pm. House Speaker John Boehner made the announcement from a Golden Corral outside Scottsdale, Arizona. “We are pleased that BSISSA was supported by those on both sides of the aisle,” Boehner said. “It is our hope that the new senior discount will drive additional midweek traffic to the bankruptcy courts, and will encourage prospective bidders to go bankruptcy shopping with their grandparents and other friends and relatives.”  
Dorothy Dickstein, of Coconut Creek, Florida, has been following the legislation since its inception.  “I’ve had my eye on a few dozen Radio Shack locations for weeks now, and I’ve been hoping the Act would pass in time for me to benefit from the discount.”  According to Mrs. Dickstein, who goes by “Bubby,”  a number of local mah-jongg clubs have been considering forming a consortium to buy intellectual property licenses in several chapter 11 cases.
The legislation is believed to have been conceived in the midst of a visit from Senator Charles Schumer to his uncle Leo during Thanksgiving 2013.  “Uncle Leo told me that he had been trying to get more involved in bankruptcy sales, but that he just couldn’t bring himself to spend the money.  I realized then that we had this huge market of potential buyers in 363 sales.”  Since then, Schumer has been quietly rounding up support for the bill.
News of the Act’s passage was met with overwhelming support from active seniors and prospective sellers, who have already begun publicizing assets sales in AARP magazine and the large print edition of Reader’s Digest.

Happy April Fool’s Day!